Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Okay I think I said that I'd try to update this at least once a week. I think I should change that to once I month! Maybe then I'll get close to reaching my goal once in a while....
Well, God has been moving like nuts with this whole Romania thing. I'm pretty jazzed. At LifeLight I was jamming with one of my friends at the Newsboys concert, and after it was over asked her to pray for me as I headed off to Eastern Europe. She said sure, and to hang on a sec, she wanted to do something she should have done a while ago, and that she wanted to bless me.
And proceeded to write a check for A LOT!
How much is a lot? Well, lets just say I can now afford a ticket to Budapest (Look up the prices on Yeah Budapest is in Hungary. It's cheaper and safer to fly into Bdpst than Bucharest, Romania.) and a bus ticket from there to pretty much wherever I want to go in Romania, with lots left over to 'keep me in business' once I'm there. HEEE!
And my host brother has been absolutally amazing in getting stuff arranged and reserved for me. I have no clue how many cousins he has, but pretty much wherever I need to go or get to, he has cousins there to 'escort me' or help me get started in ministry. (which is nice because I'm not exactly fluent in Hungarian or Romanian yet!) God is SOO amazing in how He is arranging this! So both my bro and I are e-mailing each other floods of e-mails with the newest updates and poinging with ecstacy on how awesome our God is.
SO! Five weeks and then I'm taking off! I am having a hard time believing that this has gone from dream to reality.
Yeah I know. I'm cracked. Most teenage girls dream about going to a killer college with a great car and a nice apartment or dorm or whatever and an absolutally awesome boyfriend. I dream about going alone to an excommunist country still in transition where outhouses and horse-drawn wagons are still used. Where chickens and cows roam at will, so flip-flops haven't come into fashion yet. My dream is to go there with no training or language schoolo, and work with a bunch of emotionally needy people, like the orphans and street kids. Most people would (and do) call that certifiable. :-)
Well, I have no idea what God's gonna do with or through me while I'm there, but whatever it is I can't wait to be part of it!
Alright, well, my little brother has the flu and I'm home alone with him right now, and the goats need taken out to the pasture (yes I am serious. I live on a mini-farm here in the US, okay! Good training for Romania. *laughes*) and I have a ton of other stuff I need to do, so I need to GET OFF THE COMPUTER now.
Jazzing for Christ,
Princess Ouch.

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Okay so I've done a pretty pathetic job keeping this updated. Thought I'd quickly jot something down before I dash off to start dinner. Have been trying to decide if keeping a blog is what I actually want to do, as absolutally ANYONE can view it, and I'm not so sure that's a great idea. SO decided to restrict updates on my wherabouts and doings to an e-newsletter, and just put random thoughts on my experiances on here. So if your not a random-thought-type-viewer or whatever, this site is no longer for you.
Anyway some wieeeeeerd things have been happening, a lot of which involving my leaving. It's kinda crazy and cool and terrifying at the same time, although I'm not sure how that's possible.
I'm speaking mainly of the freak and massive car wreck me and all my siblings were in, in which I really should have gotten a heck of a lot more than a few scratches a bruises as both cars were totalled. (don't think that's spelled right...) This happened right before a ministry popped up that seems to fit me to a T and a place to stay popped up out of nowhere that's free. Now all I need is for my algrebra stuff to be magically DONE and a few thousand dollers to drop into my lap, and I should be set. :-) Which I know is going to happen (yeah I know. I'm crazy. We knew that) I just don't know HOW yet.
Okay gotta get offline.
Hope yer satisfied Joe. I updated my blog. Enough wise-cracks at church about it, 'kay? Thanx.
Really am leaving this time.
Princess Ouch.

Saturday, July 16, 2005

You might be thinking, "Serving Him blind, what on earth does that mean? And why the heck would you name your blog that?" Well, I'll tell you.
I'm a first born with four younger siblings, which means that taking charge, directing, and knowing what is going on (or at least acting like I know exactly what is going on so that my siblings believe I know everything and do what I say so that mom doesn't come home to a burned-down house and no dinner) all the time come pretty naturally. And what doesn't come naturally, I learn very quickly out of self-defense. So God has been teaching me lately, "Great. You've got the leadership thing down. Now we need to work on the ministry part." Yippee! Ministry=adventure, right? I'm all about adventure, lets get this show on the road!
Uh, no. Ministry=servanthood=slavery=denying yourself and doing what you don't want to do.
In a large family, denying yourself just kinda comes with the package. You learn it or you die. However, you have the benefit of knowing what is going on. In ministry, you often don't know what is going on, what on earth God is doing, how He's gonna do it and if you're gonna live through it. You just do it. Not comfortable but it beats living without peace or joy to my way of thinking.
I have the "do what God says" part down. But the, 'Do what God says even when it makes no sense and you have no idea what He's doing" isn't so high on my 'favorite things to do' list. However, that's what He's been asking me to do lately. Serving Him blind. There's a verse in Isaiah that kinda describes how I've felt like the last couple months:

"Who is blind but My servant, or deaf as My messenger whom I send? Who is blind as he who is perfect, and blind as the LORD's servant?" Isaiah 42:19

Right now, He's telling me to get up and go to Romania for at least 3 months. I have no clue what I'll be doing there except staying with some friends there. The two that speak English will be leaving for college a few weeks after I get there, so I'll not only be staying in a foreign country but with people who don't speak my language. There are other people in that villiage and the surrounding villiages who speak English though. Still, this is NOT in my comfort zone! But I know God will show me what He has for me once I get there, and I know that it will be awesome. And I know that at the very least I'll come home knowing a lot more Hungarian than I did when I left, which will definately be helpful since I'm going to college in Hungary.
SO! There's my lenghtly explanation.
Oh yes. In my first entry you'll notice a paragraph in red that doesn't exactly go with the rest of what I was writing about? That would be my sister Kendra, who grabbed the keyboard and started typing while I was getting my prayer journal with the verse in it. I wrote that explanation underneath it but it didn't get posted for some reason. Sorry!


Thursday, July 14, 2005

Wow, this is my first blog entry ever!
I am now drawing a complete blank on what I should write next.
Maybe I should start by explaning why I set up a blog in the first place. Posting random thoughts from my crazy brain for the world to see isn't exactly a habit I like to keep regularly.
Last summer I went on a short-term mission trip to Romania. And got home with the strong feeling that one day I would go back. Awesome! I thought. How nice. God'll send me back someday. Someday is comfortable, because someday isn't right now. Which means you don't really have to worry about it. It hasn't become a reality yet. So I bee-bopped along, trying to cheerfully survive a freezing winter while finishing up high school. In October I had breakfast with my pastor and dad (cracker barrel rocks btw) and while we were there Pastor looked at me and said, "So. What are your plans?"
"Uh.... to... finish my breakfast?" I answered.
"No, I mean, for your future." He clarified, laughing.
"Oh! Well, I'm not really sure. Go to college and get a degree as cheaply as I can, I guess."
"Have you ever considered Bible College?"
"um, not really." Aren't they only for people wanting to be pastor's and missionary's to Tazakastan? Then Skip explained that there is this school in Hungary, he really wants to send one of the youth from our church to it to support it, and would I like to be it? So I looked it up on the internet, had to keep myself from drooling on the keyboard by the end of it, and decided that THAT was where I wanted to go. So my parents, pastor and I all prayed about it, and in December God confirmed loud and clear that that is where He wants me to go. Yipee! So mom and I looked at everything that I had to get done and wanted to get done before leaving the nest, and I decided that I would go in the fall of 06'. Notice I decided. God didn't. So that was what I've been planning on for the past couple months. Brush up on math (which I detest) and cream the ACT's, CLEP as much as possible, raise support, then fly to Europe. Stay in Romania with my host family from the mission trip for a month, learn as much Hungarian as I can from them (ethnically they are Hungarian) and then go to the Bible college.
Well, four days ago, God started talking to me through this book I was given out of the blue by a mission/adoption agency that started in Romania. And through it He said that He wanted me to go to Romania earlier than planned. Specifically, this fall.
"WHAT?!?! In case you haven't noticed, Lord, I'm not exactly in any way shape or form READY for that yet!!" Someday had suddenly become today. So after praying about it a little more, I decided, "Okay. I think I need to tell my parents." So I pulled mom aside and said, "I think God is telling me to go this year not next year." Her response was surprising.
"Really? Good. Whenever I prayed about it, God was like, "Why is she waiting?"
Hunh? Yer fine with this? Ooookay. Yea! Thanks God for working on her heart!
The biggest step in all this was for me to say, "Okay. I'll go this year, even though it's not at all the way I would have planned it." And I was fine. I was jazzed. I was going!
Then God started talking again. I started thinking about the money, getting a visa, dates for leaving, how I was gonna get my application filled, sent in, and accepted by the time classes started in September, and was getting kinda shook and shot. So I thought,
"Okay, either this is some kind of Spiritual attack, or I'm not hearing God on something. What is it, Lord?"
"I called you to go to Romania early, not neccesarily Hungary. Hungary is in My will, just not right now."
You could have blown me over. Okay, I need some kind of confirmation on this one, I thought, and went to my Bible. But nothing that made sense came, except that I really felt like I should tell my parents. So I did, and their response probably shouldn't be that surprising, but it was a little disheartening.
"Look, lets just pray about this, okay? Don't get all shook and shot." Dad said, got up, and left.
"Honey, lets talk about this later. I can only handle so many emotionally stressful things per evening, and this is about the third." And then she got up and left.
Oo. Not good.
"Hm. That went well." my sister said. "I think they're tired."
"Ya wanna go upstairs and talk?" I begged, I mean asked. So we went upstairs and talked (until about 1 am!) about a lot of stuff, but for the first couple of hours we talked and prayed about me going to ROmania early. Searched the Bible for confirmation, and not a whole lot that made sense came up. The fact that my youngest siblings were in there playing loudly and demanding attention over the Newsboys cd might have had something to do with it. But I did get this verse:
"This new plan I'm making with Israel isn't going to be written on paper, isn't going to be chiseled in stone; this time I'm writing out the plan in them, carving it on the lining of their hearts. I'll be their God, they'll be My people. They won't go to school to learn about Me, or buy a book called, 'God in Five Easy Lessons" They'll all get to know Me firsthand, the little and the big, the small and the great."
~Hebrews 8:10-12, The Message Translation~

That seems to me to indicate that He wants me to go to Romania, which is a new plan to me, and my parents, and that He's going to show and teach me things firsthand that I might have thought I would have learned through the Bible college. I'm not sure yet. I know that going to the college is what He wants me to do, possibly next semester. And I have no clue how He's going to orchestrate all this. But I do know that it's gonna be awesome, I know I want to be a part of it, and I know He'll take care of my parent's doubts and reservations. All I have to do is TRUST.

SO! The point of all that was to say that.... I created this blog so that while I'm out getting my hindquarters spiritually kicked, my pride thrashed, my stubborness mashed, my convictions challenged, and my faith gone-on-steroids-growing, I can let the rest of the developed world who has an investment in what I'm doing know that I'm still alive! I can't promise that once I'm over there I'll be able to update this regularly, because computers and internet connection are a luxery that a lot of Romania still doesn't have yet. However, when I do find an internet connection that will actually go through and not cost an arm and a leg, I will let you know about my latest adventures and hopefully be able to attatch a few pictures of all the exotic locations and people I'll be seeing and meeting! While I'm here in the U.S. I'll try to update it at least once a week, but life can get pretty crazy here too, so don't stone me if I'm not punctual.
NOw that I've blabbed for an hour, I need to go start dinner.
Princess Ouch.