Thursday, July 14, 2005

Wow, this is my first blog entry ever!
I am now drawing a complete blank on what I should write next.
Maybe I should start by explaning why I set up a blog in the first place. Posting random thoughts from my crazy brain for the world to see isn't exactly a habit I like to keep regularly.
Last summer I went on a short-term mission trip to Romania. And got home with the strong feeling that one day I would go back. Awesome! I thought. How nice. God'll send me back someday. Someday is comfortable, because someday isn't right now. Which means you don't really have to worry about it. It hasn't become a reality yet. So I bee-bopped along, trying to cheerfully survive a freezing winter while finishing up high school. In October I had breakfast with my pastor and dad (cracker barrel rocks btw) and while we were there Pastor looked at me and said, "So. What are your plans?"
"Uh.... to... finish my breakfast?" I answered.
"No, I mean, for your future." He clarified, laughing.
"Oh! Well, I'm not really sure. Go to college and get a degree as cheaply as I can, I guess."
"Have you ever considered Bible College?"
"um, not really." Aren't they only for people wanting to be pastor's and missionary's to Tazakastan? Then Skip explained that there is this school in Hungary, he really wants to send one of the youth from our church to it to support it, and would I like to be it? So I looked it up on the internet, had to keep myself from drooling on the keyboard by the end of it, and decided that THAT was where I wanted to go. So my parents, pastor and I all prayed about it, and in December God confirmed loud and clear that that is where He wants me to go. Yipee! So mom and I looked at everything that I had to get done and wanted to get done before leaving the nest, and I decided that I would go in the fall of 06'. Notice I decided. God didn't. So that was what I've been planning on for the past couple months. Brush up on math (which I detest) and cream the ACT's, CLEP as much as possible, raise support, then fly to Europe. Stay in Romania with my host family from the mission trip for a month, learn as much Hungarian as I can from them (ethnically they are Hungarian) and then go to the Bible college.
Well, four days ago, God started talking to me through this book I was given out of the blue by a mission/adoption agency that started in Romania. And through it He said that He wanted me to go to Romania earlier than planned. Specifically, this fall.
"WHAT?!?! In case you haven't noticed, Lord, I'm not exactly in any way shape or form READY for that yet!!" Someday had suddenly become today. So after praying about it a little more, I decided, "Okay. I think I need to tell my parents." So I pulled mom aside and said, "I think God is telling me to go this year not next year." Her response was surprising.
"Really? Good. Whenever I prayed about it, God was like, "Why is she waiting?"
Hunh? Yer fine with this? Ooookay. Yea! Thanks God for working on her heart!
The biggest step in all this was for me to say, "Okay. I'll go this year, even though it's not at all the way I would have planned it." And I was fine. I was jazzed. I was going!
Then God started talking again. I started thinking about the money, getting a visa, dates for leaving, how I was gonna get my application filled, sent in, and accepted by the time classes started in September, and was getting kinda shook and shot. So I thought,
"Okay, either this is some kind of Spiritual attack, or I'm not hearing God on something. What is it, Lord?"
"I called you to go to Romania early, not neccesarily Hungary. Hungary is in My will, just not right now."
You could have blown me over. Okay, I need some kind of confirmation on this one, I thought, and went to my Bible. But nothing that made sense came, except that I really felt like I should tell my parents. So I did, and their response probably shouldn't be that surprising, but it was a little disheartening.
"Look, lets just pray about this, okay? Don't get all shook and shot." Dad said, got up, and left.
"Honey, lets talk about this later. I can only handle so many emotionally stressful things per evening, and this is about the third." And then she got up and left.
Oo. Not good.
"Hm. That went well." my sister said. "I think they're tired."
"Ya wanna go upstairs and talk?" I begged, I mean asked. So we went upstairs and talked (until about 1 am!) about a lot of stuff, but for the first couple of hours we talked and prayed about me going to ROmania early. Searched the Bible for confirmation, and not a whole lot that made sense came up. The fact that my youngest siblings were in there playing loudly and demanding attention over the Newsboys cd might have had something to do with it. But I did get this verse:
"This new plan I'm making with Israel isn't going to be written on paper, isn't going to be chiseled in stone; this time I'm writing out the plan in them, carving it on the lining of their hearts. I'll be their God, they'll be My people. They won't go to school to learn about Me, or buy a book called, 'God in Five Easy Lessons" They'll all get to know Me firsthand, the little and the big, the small and the great."
~Hebrews 8:10-12, The Message Translation~

That seems to me to indicate that He wants me to go to Romania, which is a new plan to me, and my parents, and that He's going to show and teach me things firsthand that I might have thought I would have learned through the Bible college. I'm not sure yet. I know that going to the college is what He wants me to do, possibly next semester. And I have no clue how He's going to orchestrate all this. But I do know that it's gonna be awesome, I know I want to be a part of it, and I know He'll take care of my parent's doubts and reservations. All I have to do is TRUST.

SO! The point of all that was to say that.... I created this blog so that while I'm out getting my hindquarters spiritually kicked, my pride thrashed, my stubborness mashed, my convictions challenged, and my faith gone-on-steroids-growing, I can let the rest of the developed world who has an investment in what I'm doing know that I'm still alive! I can't promise that once I'm over there I'll be able to update this regularly, because computers and internet connection are a luxery that a lot of Romania still doesn't have yet. However, when I do find an internet connection that will actually go through and not cost an arm and a leg, I will let you know about my latest adventures and hopefully be able to attatch a few pictures of all the exotic locations and people I'll be seeing and meeting! While I'm here in the U.S. I'll try to update it at least once a week, but life can get pretty crazy here too, so don't stone me if I'm not punctual.
NOw that I've blabbed for an hour, I need to go start dinner.
Princess Ouch.


Blogger MommyCool said...

Welcome to the blog world. The Lord seems to be leading you as you sort out and post your words!

7:18 PM  

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